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Guest Blogger … Cousin Gene … 2nd Edition

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My Sweetheart had another heart attack this week. She had a heart-cath Tuesday and received her third heart stint. Twice, her condition was touch and go … It will be a while before I will be publishing original content of my own.

Cousin Gene returns for his 2nd Edition. Now, I have a better understanding why he enjoys sitting out on my front porch, weather permitting. jem

Today is Friday, the 10th day of October, 2014

My Front Porch

My porch is located in front of my house, but is not like other porches. It is not above ground level, but, instead, it is at ground level (no stepping up or down required). I have a wooden bench toward one end, that can sit two adults comfortably, or three if packed in like sardines. I have a table of sorts at either end, so that I will always have a place for my precious fluid of life, Mountain Dew. Behind the bench, on the porch, on the house, is a double window. I call it “my window to the world.”

At the other end of the porch, I have a water hose reel, for those times I need to drag out the hose. You never know when you might need a drink of water, wash the ole pickum-up truck, water the weeds, take a bath, put out a fire, or spray some bratty neighbor kid! Right handy to have, it is.



People have kidded me for years about sitting on the bench on the porch so much. They say I will die and my skeleton will still be sitting there, with a can of “Dew” to quench my bony thirst. (Told you that Mountain Dew would do me in.) Numerous people have sat on the bench on the porch with me at various times. Men, women, girls, boys, teenagers, tweens, kids, very young kids, a baby or two, and a few dogs.  Nobody famous, not yet anyway! I returned home from a trip one Saturday evening and found two guys on the bench on the porch waiting for me. (Not mafia types, fortunately.)

Friends, neighbors, strangers are all welcome. One of my favorite songs is called “I’d Rather Live By The Side Of The Road,” by Mac Wiseman. Bluegrass gospel music. Look it up and listen sometime.  While on my porch, I have always waved at or spoken to people when they pass, whether they are walking, driving, or whatever. They usually respond in kind. A female relative who was visiting me one day noticed that I waved at a few people when they passed. As we prepared to go out, she asked me how much I paid those people to come by, so she could see me waving at them! (The nerve of that young lady, to think that I would do something like that!)

Once there were four females talking on the porch when I came out to join them. I was immediately told to leave, since it was “women’s talk”. (Kicked off my on porch!!! Oh, the pain! The pain!) There have been many, many sessions of retired old men sitting there, shooting the breeze! Many sessions of people of various ages shooting the bull, also.

Two of my female neighbors yell at each other when one sees the other on the bench on the porch with me. You see, they both consider me their man!!! Ahh, to be fought over!!! (But the nagging, the constant nagging!) Once, I received a lecture from one of those females when she saw me with yet a third female neighbor on the bench on the porch.

One time, I was sitting on the bench on the porch alone, but was talking to my neighbor, who was sitting at his dining room window. (Duplexes are real close together.) He was invisible from the outside due to the tall evergreens in front of the window. Another neighbor from across the street came home. When she exited her car, she asked me if I was talking to myself. I replied that I was talking to my neighbor. Of course, the neighbor chose that moment to be as quiet as a mouse. This made me look and sound a little crazier than normal, since I was unable to convince my across-the-street neighbor that I was talking to someone.

Neighborhood kids (me first, me first!) have eaten pizza and ice cream and cookies and other foods on the porch. I have eaten countless meals there myself. I especially like to eat breakfast on the bench on the porch. Weather permitting, of course. I read the paper while eating, as well as wave at neighbors as they go to work. (They are jealous!) This must all be accomplished before our solar system’s only star tops the trees that are east of my house. When it becomes completely unobstructed by the trees, the solar system’s only star SHINES down unmercifully on my front porch. So I must abandon it until the shade returns and the concrete has cooled down some. Shade all afternoon and evening, though.  Perfect!!

The porch, with associated bench, has been used as a reading room, a puzzle solving room, a homework room, a computer room, a repair shop, a telephone booth, a music room (usually Bluegrass or Celtic), a bicycle shop, a clothes dryer, and other uses that escape me now.  Occasionally, a cat nap has occurred there, as well, even though the bench is a hard bed! Sometimes, the wild flowers that I plant in the spring grow so well in the flower bed in front of the porch that I can sit on the bench on the porch without being seen. Also, the porch has magically turned many gallons of water into sun tea. Add a little sugar, ummm good!

I have seen a lot of changes in my neighborhood since I first sat on the bench on the porch. Some good, some not so good. Some lives ended while others began. People moving in, others moving out. Kids growing up.  Ambulances drop by sometimes. Occasionally the law has had to pay a visit. One time there was a chimney fire. (That hook-and-ladder truck was longer than the street!) Some neighbors always waving, while others may not even look up. Even some not-so-neighborly feuds and divorces have occurred. But, through it all, here I am, still sitting on the bench on the porch. It is a wonderful place to relax and watch the world go by! I think I’ll have a Mountain Dew!

Author: geezer94

I was told by my grandfather that if you are destined to hang you'll never drown. I have never been afraid of water . . .

One thought on “Guest Blogger … Cousin Gene … 2nd Edition

  1. Prayers for speedy recovery!

    Liked by 1 person

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