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The Old Guy … I re-wrote My Last Will And Testament Today …

11 Comments

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The Old Guy … Walking All Over And Around Seventy Years Old …

I re-wrote my Last Will And Testament today. The last one had become out-of-date due to life changes. Sorry about that Iowa Department of Transportation, you’re out, but really you weren’t going to get anything unless all my last wishes in the previous version were not followed to the letter, punctuation included.

Anyway, this latest and greatest new document has been an internal struggle to finish since it makes so much, so many things … cut and dried final. It signifies that of my life, the final “i” has been dotted; the final “t” crossed. Yes, yes indeed … finality in its purest form visits us all.

I shall not go into specifics about the contents …

Writing the new last will makes me think of all that I have said, wanted to say, couldn’t say, all I have done … what few things I have accomplished; the tangible and non-intangible laid bare. In this Old Guy’s lifetime, I have brought joy, comfort, want and deep disappointment to those around me. There has been laughter and tears shared, nights of anticipation and anguish … with occasions of sullen inner reflection. I have dealt with the bold technicolor realization that I am a simple man of exceptionally simple pleasures void of noble heroics or measurable success.

In the fall of my years I find it is possible to reach inwardly and touch my own heart … discovering what is actually there, what of want, and what has been ruined, misplaced, squandered and or missing. There are things, including personages, that have been forgotten and still things that haunt the likes of me late at night when I am enveloped by the darkness that lives deep within all of us.

Regrets are useless …

Indeed, regrets are useless and I will not spend time on speculations about a multitude of “what if’s”. Such exercises are useless and I wish this day to be tinted kinder … and softer. To this day, I am still married in spirit to my Sweetheart and wear the gold wedding ban she gave me so many, many years ago. Quiet days like this make me miss her so much more. I do love her so.

I am tired of late and my eyes and fleeting desires betray me. A weakness has wore me down of late. But I am at peace with myself and this heathen world … I well know no ones tomorrows are assured. Each day is a gift from God. And, I am thankful for that. These chest pains that visit on silent soft feet, and haunt each breath of mine will be addressed soon. I make no predictions or assumptions of the outcome though I do have a vested interest.

So with my Last Will and Testament in place … I can have a modest sense of relief and an interest in a possible tomorrow, a little lunch at the diner or possibly write a few words. So be it.

p.s. There is no money hidden in my mattress, upstairs or in the basement.

******

 

Next Week … I just don’t know …

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Author: geezer94

I was told by my grandfather that if you are destined to hang you'll never drown. I have never been afraid of water . . .

11 thoughts on “The Old Guy … I re-wrote My Last Will And Testament Today …

  1. Good for you for getting your life in order and tying up the loose ends. Wish I could do the same.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Doesn’t everyone hide money in their mattress? 🙂 These times when we reflect on our lives are often melancholy. What most of us don’t realize is how we touch others through the course of our lives. You’ve been a light in someone’s darkness when you haven’t even realized it. I hope you enjoy your visit to the diner and treat us to another post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The sense of finality comes to us differently. The writing of a final will is the last step in acceptance.

    Thank you for showing those of us who haven’t reached acceptance how it’s done.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mr. Robert, I would suggest avoiding looking in mirrors, using the wording “Long Term Commitment”, and trying to decypher your unreadable writing which was hastily scribbled sometime after midnight because if you didn’t write the thought down, you speculated correctly that you would forget it two hours later … you will also find that there isn’t anything made that you cannot drop … and it’s hard to explain why you keep opening the microwave door when putting away the silverware … becoming old is much like the last Christmas present under the tree … it’s addressed to you, you want to open it, but prove hesitant … and you should have, by this time in your life, better sense than to shake it too hard …
    thanks for your time commenting …
    g

    Like

  5. Good for you! Anyone has to take care of their legal stuff, and I am a procrastinator. As to your REAL legacy – you have had a great life, and there is a lot you will do because your time is not over yet. When your heart skips a beat, just cough a couple of times. It always helps. In the past months you had been shaken by all that happened, and sure it took a toll on you, but it is all temporarily. Do your projects, keep being a blessing to all who know you. Read my post tonight, you might like it 🙂

    PS One can’t keep their life under the mattress 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Meeting ourselves in the final analysis is the real gift isn’t it? Because we are the confluence of all that is happiness and all that we missed, all that we loved and lost, and the memories and impacts of the folks who helped to form our lives. Your post is profoundly moving because it gives us a glimpse of your life story. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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